Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
