I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
