So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
