and she was petting her beer can
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize