She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
