nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize