Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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