one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
