I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
