I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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