If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize