also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
