he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize