Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize