I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
