I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
