I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
