im gay
i know
yea but for you.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i dont even know how to be here
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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