she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
