The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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