seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize