i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
