i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
They should really pass out barf bags in church
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
