he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
