I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
