Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Are my feet made of real feet?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
where are my eyebrows?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
