Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
