It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
