But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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