when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize