Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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