Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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