i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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