Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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