ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
