I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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