I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
