Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
