I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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