Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
