After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
