I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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