Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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