Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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