Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
