Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
