rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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