i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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