It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
