Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
