So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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