Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
