Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What a dumb baby whore.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize