ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why is there bacon in the couch?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize