so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
