Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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