I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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