Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
