Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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