I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
