i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
