he thought i was a dude.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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