I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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