So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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