Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
farters have to be the big spoon...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
