i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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