If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
