I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
