dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
