is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
