you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
