But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
