Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
