Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
